As I was reading my previous year's birthday post, I was cringing so much, along with my heartstring twitching uncontrollably as I could still clearly experiencing the sort of emotions I went through when I wrote those lines of madness and obsession. I call it the obsession because it was, I had no idea who I was really loving. Clearly, I was loving the idea of loving a person. I had no fucking clue what love is. And I still have no clue of it right now. Believe or not, we don't need to have it all figured out. What I learnt about love and my feeling is, listen to your most honest feedback from yourself. If you are feeling fake then it probably is a surreal feeling, it probably is too good to be true. Leave it, is better than having something you don't truly in tune with. Less truly is more, less makeup, fewer things and less fake people in your life. Let's be real though, more money is always good. Let's redirect the energy into making more money, and building wealth for yourself. Because you know goddamn well, you deserve so much more, and work for it!
It took me a whole year to learn the real art of self-love, self-care and be ok with your self. And truly enjoying the space of solitude. In fact, I think self-love is a life long lesson that should always be practised. This year I took every conscious moment to recognise my desire, needs and paying uttermost attention to understand myself in every situation when dealing with adversity, love, friends, work and with my fur baby. I took mental notes of how I behaved and reacted in those situations in order to understand myself better. I want to know myself as much as I could. Anyways, I will leave all those reflections in another post about the new year.
For my 24th this year, I decided I would still invite the OG group of my closest high school and Uni friends to have a nice dinner at the Chu The Phat. For the oddest reason, I somehow feel like I am 26 already, maybe because I've moved out and have a dog now, and things just felt more mature and official than before.
