Dear younger me,
Do you still remember how you were so worried about your big nose, tanned skin and crooked teeth? Guess what, your 20 years old self loves them now. She thinks they are the cute little imperfections that make her unique.
Also, don't be so stressed about OP score as the only way to get into University. I wish I could tell you the importance of exploring your interest during high school instead of fixated on the grades and what everyone else is going to do. It has been two year since graduation, your 20 years old self is still clueless about life. She has no ideas of what her interests are and she doesn't even know herself still. If only, the16 years old self did something, explored the subjects a bit more, explored her interest a little bit more and explored about life just a little bit more.
Do you still remember how you desperately wanted to fit in with the popular at school? Do you still remember how you tried so hard to impress everyone about your appearance and even how you express yourself. You 20 years old self has done none of these, and have made heaps more cool friends, with just being the most authentic self. Your 20 years old self is feeling just fine. Forget about trying to impress anyone, the only person you really need to impress is yourself.
Things were never meant to be black and white. There are many solutions to one question. The world is not going to end because you had/hadn't make a decision. Don't ever rush into decision-making because every decision comes with a consequence you will have to deal with.
Finding someone isn't as easy as you think. Your 20 years old is still single, however, she is happy for the time being. It is not completely a good thing to be single there's definitely down sides of it. So your 20 years old self wanted tell you, a high school love story would have been better. At least you would have got a sweet guy to go to formal with and enjoyed the shy affections and the chemistry between two young high school sweethearts.
It would be a best idea to take a gap year to refresh and find your 18 years old self. but you didn't. Things were tough. Only if you were well-informed about what a gap year can really do. The 18 years old self would know what to pick for her life. I ain't complaining though, I am happy with being an useless 20 years old. Things are simpler.
Do you remember how you were so ashamed of being in love with someone being the 17 year-old you are, You were afraid to express yourself, you had such strong believe that you weren't pretty enough for the boys and relationship would destroy your motivations to study hard. But you know what your 20 years old self would say? Go for it. It was probably the best time to express your love to someone, at least you are developing Erikson's theory of Intimacy VS Isolation (trying to make my Uni worth it.
A beautiful quote : “They say to never look back. But sometimes I do. It’s gratifying to see how far I’ve come.”
― Richelle E. Goodrich, Making Wishes: Quotes, Thoughts, & a Little Poetry for Every Day of the Year
With love,
Your 20 years old Self.
